havent been here 4 so long. this is my space but i cant say whatever i want to say. its so hard to be a human. too much emotions, and we can no contral them. something we dont want accept something we dont want forget. i can still remember how happy i was. but now i feel so lonely. i hid everything deep in my heart. its really really so hard. i use alll my energy to keep myself stand there. im tired. i just want sleep. never wake up. so i will never feel this tired. sometime i feel that im a person from another world. no one can understand me. and i dont understand anyone. i want other peole know me but on another hand i hidding alll my feelings. dont wanna show anyone. i scare that if people know me so well. they will also know my weakness. then they can easily break me. i hate it.

today is valentines day. just like alll my other 23 years i spend this day with myself. people ask me y im so depressed. my answer is transmigration. we cant always be happy. so when the bad things came i will put alll my sadness in this period. after that i will be okay and wait untill next time. i think its better than sad alll the time. i got car accident yesterday. someone hit my car. my girl on my car. its make me feel so bad. even its not my fault. to much bad things came after that. i always say that i am a strong man. so i can take a lot of stuff. at least nothing can rout me til now. i am so happy with it.

day after days, we can be happy or sad. tomorrow when the sun rise up. smile to welcome a new day.

Happy Valentin's Day!

-- Kernan.Z